two and a half years….

it’s been a real challenge Lord…but thank u for stretching me because along with all the suffering & fear that i had to face…i found something greater.  :)  every face that comes to mind right now made it worth it Lord.  my family…the yg…it was reallie worth it God.  :)  i feel like…there’s no way to trade this time…haha.  it can’t be compared to anything.  i can’t find it anywhere else.  it’s a season of my life that’ll always be unique in it’s own way even if i were to face more trials in the future.  even if i were to have happy days ahead. 

i think i’m still in denial that it’s over…and it’s so bittersweet right now…too many emotions at once but Lord…i pray that each face that i carry in my heart with me…that one day i’ll see them in heaven with me…and that when we join You…we’ll all laugh at our times that we had here and now.  the good…the bad…the beautiful…the ugly…every moment.  :) 

but now i give it to You Lord.  all of it…as an offering.  some parts make me wanna hide my face in shame cuz i feel like i’ve failed u…and other parts make me reallie glad cuz i feel like i took part in something amazing…but everything i did…the mistakes…the accomplishments…allllll of it…it’s Yours. 

and one thing feels soooo clear right now in my heart and it’s that…here i am, again.  things constantly change…there’s always a start and an end in this life…diff chapters, seasons, and stages in life…but one thing remains. 

i am Yours.

You will always be with me.  and we’ll always be together.

so comfort me Lord as i grieve this season…and as we walk hand in hand…remind me that ur love will protect the yg…ur precious ones.  cuz ur love is greater than mine…and u are the God of Everlasting…the God of Forever. 

be there for them always…as u are here for me always.

amen.